- Condition One: Attack is present, or imminent. The CIC is locked down and the ship's commander is on station.
|
Copyright © 1985- 2011 Alexcom Systems - GCMN. Tegucigalpa MDC, Honduras, Centralamerica
|
| |||||
Sep 14, 2011
“Love is a sudden revelation: a kiss is always a discovery” It is 3:35 am, September 14, 2011 After several delays, I have managed to start to write this description of a revelation that I just had. I am sitting in my room, listening to Zoé and watching Johhny Bravo. I am also very high. On marijuana. About 6 hours ago, I went and visited a friend who is taking care of another friend at a Honduran Military Hospital. I got there, we smoked a blunt, went inside, watched part of “The Hurt Locker”, ate junk food out a vending machine, smoked another blunt, I departed. On the long ass ride back, I started thinking about my currently ex-girlfriend. She’s a really sweet girl, who has a son. But, who in my opinion got a bad hand in life (teen pregnancy, abusive ex-boyfriends, etc.). Anyway, even though my instinct told me that she was nothing but trouble, I went out with her. We dated for about 5 months, 3 of them kind of tense and long-distance and then she broke my heart and kicked my ass out of her life. It broke my heart. I had lost my job. I had lost my girl. I was fucked. I stared smoking pot. I got better. She came back. There was an…incident. 3 weeks later, she said we were friends. I thought about her comment and told her that I couldn’t handle the friend status. And I broke it off. And broke her heart. We drifted apart. She owes me money, but is responsible enough to pay me back. I think things over. I miss her. I started calling her and talking to her. One night, drunk and high, I looked at her Facebook. I saw a picture of her and another dude. I started to freak out. I couldn’t handle the fact that she had REPLACED me. I called her at 3 am. I totally lost it. I cried. And cried. And barely made out fragmented, blathering sentences. She wouldn’t listen. She wouldn’t REASON. She wouldn’t admit to having a relationship with the other guy. She told me. “We’ll talk tomorrow.” She hanged up. Things we’re very, very bad afterwards. Bear in mind that all of this was not less than 72 hours ago. She said that she needed space. I got angry. I got sad. I had chest pains. My heart was shattering. Again. What had I done to deserve such heinous treatment? I DESERVED an explanation. A RATIONAL one. I spoke man to man to my father for the first time in my life. I was SHOCKED to hear what he had to say. I hated all women. Equally. DEVIL WOMAN. I accepted the fact that I was probably never gonna see my X again. And my heart shattered. But I was OK. The language behind the emails and text messages were violent. And painful. And blameful. I bowed my head and felt guilty. And I was almost sure that I had lost her. And it hurt. But, I didn’t know why. UNTIL TONIGHT. On the way back from the hospital (you remember the hospital, right?); I started to think about everything about her. And us. I couldn’t figure out why it hurt so much. Why her? I looked up at the sky and asked (begged) God for an answer. I believe in God (non-practicing Evangelist, pastor’s son). And He gave it to me. THE SPARK. I’m in love. But, I forgot The Spark. We went out once and I place my hand on her, nonchalantly and she wrapped her pinky around mine. I was electrocuted. I felt a shock run from the pit of my stomach to the tip of my spinal cord. I nearly crashed into a telephone pole. She was none the wiser. I felt it again tonight. Nearly crashed into a telephone pole again. I started to cry. I started to laugh, because I imagined myself telling my friends tomorrow. First time I’ve every felt this. How the fuck to I tell her? I’LL FIGURE IT OUT! TL;DR: I had an extreme religious/personal revelation. I AM IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE. And I’m very high. PEACE!
| |
|
|
